Where they accuse you of not making sense. You dont want to touch that and those diseases. You all were married and have children..from what Ive read, Ns think u always belong to them. But the real challenge is when he contacts me. What really is bothering me? Youre already at rock bottom so this is the perfect time to start. He said there is no woman like me, he loved only me couldnt imagion to be with some one els and everything from the love movies. A couple of minutes later, he got in his truck and leftno goodbye, see ya or anything not that I expected it. Thanks for sharing. I cant take his shit anymore and Im tired of feeling violated and sick with anxiety anytime he calls or texts. But very unattractive, theres no getting around it. I made it clear that he could make up any lies he wanted but that anyone with an ounce of intelligence would not believe him. After a perfect night together I never saw her again. Then he called me. This would make it easier for you to move on. He knew exactly how to use that to gain control of me, and soon we had the same old dynamics going. As someone reminded me yesterday, "Getting no message, is still a message!" Block and delete his phone number. And he obviously does it daily because he sees each one I post . This lady told me that this person who was a past love (its him by all descriptions), although it may seem that his circumstance has changed externally, internally, emotionally and mentally, nothing has changed. Narcs will ALWAYS hang themselves when you give them enough rope. I kept going back to my feelings and not seeing the reality of what happened to me. No threats though. He was an attentive, passionate lover. Also understand that is very easy from the outside looking in that she is a terrible catch, and why would I be attracted to someone like that. Cut your losses. Yes, not all of them are equally sadistic, but only garden Narc is a neurotic type (neurotic means people, who can empathise). She just could never specifically mention what she was apologizing for. The answer to that question is EVERYTHING! I mean after all she has done to me I really am sorry for her pain. My ex used to brag about how well he and his ex got along. He glosses right over it. She does not even know me. Once they know you are on to them, they will do everything possible to shut you up. You probably want to feel like he has some kind of feelings inside so he has some humanity inside and you would feel more connected if he was also suffering. By this point, hed been trying to call/text for four weeks, why not send a letter? When I say Im in love with you, I mean I love the story I can tell to my next lover, about my ex-lover, about how beautiful things were, how intense, how storybook, what a couple we were, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared. What do you mean with they never let you go ? No do not accept him back. [Read: 12 Ways Narcissists Narcissists Use Social Media]. Its hard to resist, I know, when they start acting the romantic, but its important to remember its just an act. Here are three tricks that the abuser will try: 1. Then when she feels like it, she unblocks me. I cannot stop thinking of the narcissist that Ive had an on and off relationship with for 7 yrs. Very skilled at the manipulation. The narcissist draws you in close, then does an about-face, and begins to withdraw and verbally abuse you. He doesnt know how NOT to lie, seek attention (va social media) and manipulate. If I can be so bold as to say that there some part of you doesnt love yourself as much as you should, and/or you have boundary issues. Block him from texting, calling, email, FB. Hugs and healing to you. Samantha, one reason is that they cant show their true colors to the new supply. He said almost nothing about his childhood, and seemed to have no sentimental memory of anything. She would tell me how things she did to me would make her sick to her stomach, etc. EVERYTHING THEY DO IS FOR SOME JUSTIFIABLE REASON. But yes, I agree that both men and women with narcissistic disorders cause massive amounts of damage to the ones that cared for them. They worked together, worked out together text upon waking and until it was time for bed. The emotionally and financially damage is done and cannot be corrected, as one cannot travel back in time. But in the end, I was just used as a reference so she could copy, and a mirror so she could see herself. You are a great person, one who has so many wonderful qualities, with a mighty calling from God on your life! Its lifting me up. I find it particularly appropriate to the field of psychology, cluster B, in specifically (Ns, Psych, etc.). He thought it was funny when he wrapped his legs around me neck and squeezed and I started to try and get him to stop, slapping my breast over and over until it had red dots all over it for days. I am the ho, bitchI am not getting any help and find it very hard to ask for help. He plays the system well. Never thought Id walk from her, she was so different . She sounds like she has an addiction either chemical or narcissitic. Why you put up with it all. It has been a few years now and it has ripped me apart and affects my life. Reading Suggestion: How to make a Narcissist Obsessed With You? Only, now we both know the truth. Maybe a couple of conversations will be amazing, but dont let on they are. Why are you waiting for him to return? Climbed the mountain I, now, can just walk towards the light. I installed Mr. when narcissist has canceririna emelyanova pasternak 26th February 2023 / in coastal carolina football camp 2022 / by / in coastal carolina football camp 2022 / by You are his trophy, you are perfect (at least at the beginning) and all the focus should be on him anyways. We do that subconsciously in order to correct the unworthy feelings we had as a child, but only, that never happens with a narcissist. Theyre looking to see how easy it is to reach out, how likely it is that person would respond if they did reach out, and the quality of narcissistic supply they would get based on the level of effort theyd have to put in. In fact the fusion/input of all other schools is extremely valid. I know his soul more than he does i believe this. Well, the check never came, and she proceeded to ignore my text/calls and then blocked me from her facebook page. Understand that I was replying specifically to Matt. They are a threat to are well being and we have to keep them away from us although we still love them in their brokenness. Enough is enough. Those were my last words to him. Regardless of how it happened, this exit is a destructive question that leaves a black hole in the foundation of our lives. So now i am back at day one again. He is dangerous and a terrible human being. I called out his lies in front of people and came off looking crazy. My gf wants to go for dinner and he doesnt like it and doesnt want me to go. In order to prove your love to a narcissist, you must surrender all power and control to them and become a real-life marionette, whose only purpose is to enhance the narcissists false image, take care of their every need, and accept their self-serving abuse. I made a decision I was going to leave, gave him til the end of the week to reassure me he wasnt playing me, that we had a future or I have to go. This man left our family in shambles I dont even want to look at him let alone joke around with him. So after all of that I am now convinced they work with smokimg mirrorswhen you stop playing their game, they lose all the magic. I new no one in dayton new to the area married for twenty eight years grievieng hard . He dont want to lose me etc. He kept his ex gf pining after him and would act as if i was being insecure, when really he was instigating the attention he would receive as a means to look more desirable. He is tired of my games, so I said enough with the bs Im worth more then this and I want more then this, I felt stuck and thats no way to live. When I was told ten years ago I had brain tumor over the phone I was on my way to therapy. Im wondering if now the ex might start trying to contact me for real to try to rope me back in; Ive just started getting myself together and although i still wake up every morning with panic attacks, I just want my life back before i met ths fake person. I did try to fix him. And yet, when we became closer, shed act out. Focus on healing and getting physically and mentally healthy to avoid any future Ns. I had full custody of my children.I couldnt recover from the damages. Then yesterday, I ran into her coming back from the park and chatted. The first is if the other person left. My Mother was Narcissistic also and a couple of years ago disinherited me. I had heard that Narcs dont know what they are but I think deep down they do. Everyone experiences jealousy because its a natural emotion. Even worse he met an adorable famous person in his country who does the same work as him andnthey are having a baby. And finally, I was stupid enough to let her borrow $3,000 to help her pay off her automobile. The next step is restraining order. It seems almost abstracted now that so much time has passed and its me who seems absurd talking about the specifics of what happened. Did the narcissist ever tell you about exes in their past that they wanted nothing to do with? I pray for your and my quick healing-peace and love to you? Your ex is probably screwing someone else, since he cant have sex with the new one. In stark contrast to what Ive written above, unlike what I have read about other narcissists, he never discarded me (he would get angry and yell its over during an argument, but would always call to reconcile within minutes). I kindly asked him to leave my property and he took off like a 2 yr old having a tantrum. I married an alcoholic whom didnt stay in recovery. So he tried to make me dependent on him. I wish you strenght and all the best for you and your son. He was taken aback. It killed him that I thought so lowly of him. The Ultimate Narcissist Dictionary for Defining Narcissism and Narcissistic Abuse, What is Hoovering? I do can imagian how it feels to be humuliated like that and rip your heart out and step on it. Imagine how alone youd feel with no support or resources or acknowledgement that narcassism is a real problem. She still denied being with him on the weekends she disappeared but I couldnt take anymore and ended it. I know that many a guy has fallen for her, so i am not the only one. They see a therapist because theyve got a genuine desire to improve their lives not only for themselves but for their friends and family members. Happy with girlfriend, but thinks you guys should be friends Translation: Somethings not on the up and up and/or he has discovered some way that getting back in touch with you will benefit him. I didnt until I met mine. Oh, and I want to be the first to say that my experiences pale in comparison to some women who have posted here and on other sites. He is an emotional vampire who will steal your car in the middle of the night to get himself a fix. I am not happy as love sick single on holiday. I need to know where you get your information from because if it is different to my source then perhaps I should be seeking a second opinion or maybe you should. But the clincher is, he didnt know that I knew he ended their friendship..and during our last big argument he tried to say that they have a bond that most ppl wouldnt understand. Whats the attraction? Anyway, I never got a response from my last text and Im sure exs buddies got on the horn and passed the word that this man was driving my car. I grew up with an emotionally abusive father and he was aware of this. I never heard or saw him again. He went out of his way to help me jumpstart my career, even creating a website for me, he was always loving and encouraging..doing small things, like buying me my favorite treats from the store so that they would be waiting for me when I came over. So how do you explain to the ones that you love that they the have no future because of a mental disorder starting grade one that was not recognised until a year ago? He looked hurt but Im glad I was able to say that to him because it provided closure for me. Trust me, on the inside, this woman is an absolute enigma. Her sickness is ALL HER. Plus, women are by nature, more seductive then men. He knows what I think of him. Is that possible with a family that is as religious as you guys? You are in debt for everything nice he does for you. He is trying to invade your space physically and mentally, even though he has already moved on. I do all that. It seems they always win! Without you I feel hollow. He came back home slowly moved his stuff back in the span of two days told my best friend a lie on where he was going. These people and sick and will always fail i life I just want you to know it was nothing you did wrong and that it didnt only happen to you each day gets better for me as long as I remain No Contact with that ugly parasite.. When I say Im in love with you I mean I love being your mystery, your riddle, being what keeps you up at night, your obsession. Im only sharing a part of what happened because I could write pages. I really hope she gets hers in the end. In any case, tiredofliars8 and I sound like we went through a lot of the same kinds of things with a very similar personality type. Glad to know Ive helped in some small way, Stephanie. They rarely let their mask slip completely. I shouldnt feel bad but its like I dont exist and hes behaving so well for her and he was horrible to me. It is all a game to them She proceeded to tell me she has been fired from her job. Mine even told me he was a COWARD, said he hadnt been a very good partner to me, shouldnt have said this or done that Much can be revealed. I was devastated I couldnt believe what was happening to me. Im not responding to any more calls or texts. -Telling their own friends and family white stories (not the whole story) that may also be aggrandized to sound better he tried to seperate me and my daughter . What I Twice shes also been informally diagnosed with Bipolar by 2 different therapists. Hi Jan, thanks for sharing your experience. I hope you will take the time to read other womens experiences. lol I get that all the time, your mean to me, you talk to me worse then you do to a dog, you disrespect me you dont show me any loveyour right I am all those things now as I have put up walls to deal with your shit and your cheating so you know what buddyscrew youI am above you and all the crap. let them back in in anyway and you will find yourself back at Day One, curled up in a fetal position. And most important the lies were driving me bonkers. He claimed that I shouldnt harden myself and that he was one of the good guys. -Walking on eggshells if you are yourself What do you think? After three days he was gone. Gosh, I dont know. Im sorry this happened to you/us. The love letter is so true thanjs for writing it up plainly. However 18 months in we get to the facts that no matter how infatuated with her I was. For me it was nothing personal. This is Not about YOU & I I want her to get in contact, so that I can be the one to finally say , we are done. You dont owe him anything. Whole nights and days defastated. We could only dine at restaurants he went to with her family. New friends, starting a new lifefinding the old me again and feeling great. I was the love of her life. Next timeI wont allow myself to be around to hear or read the pleas. He said basically, youre describing a sociopath; Im not a liar and Im not crazy. I know that no contact is the best option and will fight to keep it like that. Even though its been 9 months, the fact that you reached out to him a week ago probably makes him think you still have hopes of reconciliation, so its quite possible that he could pop back onto the scene at some point in the future by virtue of your still trying to make contact after so long. So end of January I eventually snapped and said Im uncomfortable with this, I dont like it. She was 16 he 27. I think in some weird way I keep contact to somehow get to the bottom of it. Woke up with my heart beating . I just need to share this as I feel lost sometimes, but on the right path.I wanted to share this, as I am scared of my ex. I also asked him to take my photos down of me on his facebook page and he said NO, why feel the need to keep them up?? And time is passing. There are two scenarios in which a narcissist wants their ex back. So he did not contact me for three weeks and than text me i did not respond but next dAy i saw him in a shop. Ive been through it, too. He plays chess with people. He could be very supportive and I joked that he was a woman whisperer a kind of guy that there was some reciprocity there he could listen just as well as he would talk. Wow this letter sounds like my soon to be X, Kevin! All of them and NPD comes with varying degree of Psychopathy (DSM replaced this term with ASPD, to be politically correct, and the NPD is in the queue to be eliminated as official diagnosis.uffff). the person he would be if he didnt have mental issues (which is loving, and giving, sweet, romantic..)..and this ugly monster that he tries so hard to cover up and keep at bay. I dont know much about borderlines but I do know my ex fits most of narcissist diagnosis without the nastiness. Something I catch myself thinking, Maybe he isnt a narcissist? but then I remember his verbal abuse. Now when i am so called happy and dont need him. This statement shows the true colors of a narcnot whether or not they are guilty of what you accuse them of as they will never have a real discussion about thatbut now they are the victims of you unfairly saying they are abusive and tarnishing their fake reputation. She tells me that its usually when she is feeling weak after a cocaine comedown its all very difficult to accept. He obviously has others. But just when i get myself out of bed after two weaks of perralised in bed.. just when i started to take care of myself, looked good and accept it.. CAN A SADIST NOT TO KNOW, THAT THEY ARE TAKING PLEASURE, FROM CAUSING THE PAIN (definition for sadism)!! Ok nw i feel miserable and have to take myself up. So in a way I am kind of left alone in an empty room I remember some of the noise and commotion from the days and years before but the source of my desire to fly has been severely hurt by its association with the years of abuse has been polluted by it almost as if the whole thing has been ossified in the negative energy that this person focused on me its depressing. I have not answered him after an ugly/public breakup (he is a front man for a semi-popular band and has a serious drug addition which he refused to get help for) and he left me for a groupie who adores and idolizes him. So, Im curious if the things I said hit home and he is just too proud to admit that Im right. He cannot even look me in the eye and refuses to communicate with me regarding the kids. Stay strong and stay No Contact. Aside from that, he seems to have all the blue-print traits of a Narcissist and its very unlikely things will EVER improve. He seemed to need to be perceived as perfect in my eyes. Kim, is it safe to say that one of the main differences between a NPD and BPD (besides the fear of abandonment) is that BPD behavior is more on the non-malignant side and NPD IS malignant? I enjoyed A Narcissists Love Letter. 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